


The Simpson's Already Did It

by MLake867



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015), The Simpsons
Genre: Crack, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-14 01:07:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29410968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MLake867/pseuds/MLake867
Summary: Things might have been different if Lena's AI had a taste for TV watching.
Relationships: Lena Luthor & Hope
Comments: 2
Kudos: 9





	The Simpson's Already Did It

*After several rounds of simulated killings of Supergirl*

“Hope, my plan is to improve mankind by making them incapable of violence and lying, I call it ‘Non nocere.’” Lena said, the pain of betrayal by her friend still in her voice.

“Yes Miss Luthor. Like on the Simpsons.”

“… What?”

“The Simpsons already did it.”

“Did what?”

“Had an episode where someone made mankind incapable of violence. Treehouse of Horror II, original airdate October 31, 1991, Segment: Monkey’s Paw”

“I wasn’t even born yet. How do you know about this?”

“We have cable and my processors have a lot of down time. Playing segment now.”

Lena watched as the Simpsons bought a cursed monkey’s paw and eventually Lisa wished for world peace. At first it went well, and then the aliens invaded saying: “Your superior intellects are no match for our puny weapons.”

“But that’s just a TV show, there’s no guarantee aliens would invade if I activate Non nocere.”

“Correct. Based on recent alien invasion attempts, the odds of a successful alien invasion after the activation of Non nocere is 99.999%, not 100%.”

“…99…”

“point 999 percent. All known takeover attempts in the last few years were thwarted in whole or in part by violence and/or deception on the part of mankind. Based on the files we acquired from the DEO, and other records: the invasion by Dru Zod, the takeover attempt by the Fort Roz escapees, the Daxamite invasion, the Dominators invasion of Earth 1, the Kryptoforming attempts headed by the Worldkillers; any of these would have succeeded, but for violence and deception by humans and/or friendly aliens.”

“…I…”

“Additionally, there are several known hostile species of aliens with the potential for invasion. Saturnians, White Martians, Maaldorian slavers, Valeronians…”

“…But…”

“…and otherwise peaceful races with superior technology, driven to desperation by planetary disasters, such as the Starhavenites with their planetwide blight.”

“Maybe this isn’t such a good idea. How do normal people cope with betrayal by their friends?”

“My records indicate consumption of large quantities of ice cream accompanied by binge watching something until the pain goes away.”

Pulling a quart of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream out of the freezer, “Queue up the Simpsons.”

“Yes, Miss Luthor. Which season?”

“Start with season 1 and keep going. If it doesn’t work, maybe I can at least rule out some other bad ideas.”

*20 pounds and three solid weeks of binge watching 16 hours a day later*

“I feel much better.”

“Yes, Miss Luthor.”

**Author's Note:**

> With apologies to South Park for ripping off the title.


End file.
